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Waiting For A Soulmate: How Long Is Long Enough?
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 It's alright to talk about soulmate, but to actually make searching for your soulmate the be all and end all of your life is a tad naïve. Yet we found one such protagonist who's still waiting for his 'love of his life' to appear.
Karan is 45 plus - that makes him middle-aged, doesn't it? His friends, all married (or divorced and twice-married) have teenaged children. Karan claims he doesn't fell left out at social mixers, which sounds kind of clichéd but... yes! That's a big but you could say - the 'but' of Karan's life.
Whenever he meets and dates a new woman, and especially if she passes muster with his friends, an old refrain gathers decibels. Karan is plagued with variations of "Why don't you marry her and settle down?" until he cries himself hoarse saying, "I like her...but she's not the one..."
No love at first sight?
Nowadays, Karan is trying to fend off well-meaning suggestions to 'link up' with Tina. Of the right age, she's smart, with a great job, they vibe well, have the same social, cultural and political leanings and as his friends gush - they look great together.
In fact, his friends have hailed Tina the perfect woman (if there be such a thing) for Karan.
So, what's the problem?
"I think she's a fun person to be with," says this more than eligible bachelor, "but it's not like my heart beats faster when I see her, or anything like that."
Fact is - Karan is still waiting for magic to happen - imagining he'll see a woman from the opposite side of the room at a party, their eyes will meet, and that's it - he'll be besotted with her and she hopelessly in love with him, as though Cupid or lightning struck them both.
How do you know?
In other words, they'll both be drawn together by an intense, immediate sense of intimacy. But although these dreams would perhaps make a great script for Bollywood, is that what real life is all about?
After all, Karan's waited long enough. If he carries on the same way, who's to say whether his wait will ever end?
To be fair to Tina, and it's only right that she be considered part of the problem at hand, having dated Karan for six months now, she'd like some show of commitment.
As she is also on the wrong side of 40, she knows she can't enter a relation and call the shots, so to speak. Nevertheless, having given Karan six months of her life and umpteen fun dates, she's now of the firm opinion that Karan and she have all the basic ingredients that go into making a great relationship.
Should I brush my heart aside?
So, now what should Karan do?
- If he ties the knot with Tina then he will have to give up the possibility of running into his soulmate during what's left of his life? Is that fair?
- On the other hand, although just thinking of his soulmate being somewhere out there feels exhilarating now, if 'she' doesn't appear soon, won't this feeling eventually turn into despondency?
- Of course, Karan has effectively put his life on hold, and he's getting no younger. Will he ever again find a girl like Tina?
- Or is it just a case of nerves, come on harder because he's put off getting married for so long?
- Should Karan give up his longing for a 'soulmate' and settle with a great person like Tina - even great love doesn't always come like a bolt of lightning. It can grow on you!
What do you think?
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Charu Bahri
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