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Love » After-marriage » Self-pleasure-071231
Does Self-Pleasure Have Place In A Relationship?
Self pleasure can have a place in a relationship if:

  • One partner's (either man or woman's) desire for sexual frequency is greater than the others. In such a situation, masturbation can be very healthy as it can alleviate sexual tension and consequently stress in the relationship.
  • The couple involved have a long distance relationship or if either partner travels a lot. Better to 'give yourself a hand' than find someone else to do it, right?
  • Partnered sex is not possible due to any illness or temporary health condition. After all, just because you can't have sex, why deny your partner their solo sexual exploits.


Self-pleasure can ruin a relationship if:
  • You are trying to punish your partner, or what to get back at them for something by depriving them of partnered sex.
  • Your partner is willing to have sex when you want it and as much as you want it, but you still prefer self-pleasure. In such a situation, you either don't find your partner attractive anymore or find someone else more attractive than them!
  • If you're fantasizing about other men / women after watching erotica and feel that your partner doesn't measure up.
  • Partnered sex is the ultimate form of intimacy. So, if your partner prefers masturbation so that he / she does not have to take your relationship to its height of intimacy, then it can be a problem.

Thus, try and be honest about why you masturbate and share your feelings with your partner. Once you address the issues mentioned here, self-pleasure will become a non-issue in your relationship.

Next week we'll be discussing the myths and facts associated with self-pleasure. Be sure to subscribe to the Shaaditimes newsletter to get your issue.

Lessons From The Kama Sutra: Kissing Part 1
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Ruchi Agarwal
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