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Are You In A Relationship Half Heartedly?
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On the other hand when Amit realized that his short temper was matched by Geeta's, he knew he had to do something to diffuse the situation. After a few months of constant bickering, Amit took the first step. He told Geeta that no matter the cause of their fight, he would do the making-up.
This did not mean that he was admitting guilt or saying sorry for things he had not done. It simply meant that he was willing to do his share of work to ensure that they never went to sleep on a fight.
Geeta was amazed by her husband's willingness to put aside his pride for their relationship and she was determined to do the same. Of course, they still have fights. But the making up is so wonderful that the fights have become fun.
Do It For Him / Her
That's right. You'd wear a sari if your boss told you to wouldn't you? So wear one to please your in-laws and indirectly your spouse.
You'd go and entertain clients you don't like wouldn't you? You'd spend hours mingling with the right kind of people at parties to get ahead professionally wouldn't you? So, why not put in the same effort and attend whatever dos she asks you to?
Do it for your spouse!
Yeah... that's right. Alien as the concept of doing something you don't like just because your spouse likes it sounds - that's exactly what makes a relationship work. Just knowing that there is someone who would do absolutely anything for you - even things he or she despise - makes it worthwhile to put up with all the not-so-fun parts of being in a relationship.
Unlearn A Few Things
Yes, your mom always made halwa-puri on Diwali. But that doesn't mean that your wife has to as well. She's a different person so she may create new, different traditions of her own. It's ok for things to change. Accept the changes and enjoy them.
Similarly, at your mom's house Holi was always celebrated with great fanfare. Maybe it isn't at your in-laws' place. So live with it and enjoy the festivals that are celebrated with fanfare.
Marriage is about change. It is about two people connecting their lives and then growing within the new space. It is about two people who are constantly changing - as is their relationship. The point is to take it all in the right spirit. It sure does require an effort but by making room for this new way of life you will also end up making it obvious to your spouse that you are committed to making the relationship work - come what may!
So, don't make half-hearted attempts at having a successful relationship. When you find a man or woman you love, hold on to them with everything you've got - and give it your all. Believe me, you'll get all in return!
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Zainab S Kazi
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