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Whose money is it anyway? - Part 1
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Should parents continue to depend on their daughter once she is married and gone? And how much right in the joint family, do the in-laws have on the woman's income?
These are the questions bothering a young woman named Anjoli, right now.
Anjoli was brought up in a single parent home, where her mother was the sole provider for herself and her much younger brother. Despite her mother's hard work the family lived an extremely modest existence.
Anjoli herself started working while still in college. By the time she graduated, she was already earning enough to let her mother rest. Within a couple of years, Anjoli took a loan from the bank to buy a new flat and the family moved on to better life.
Anjoli's personal life too took turn for the better when Sanjeet proposed her for marriage and she agreed. Anjoli's small family was happy for her. But Sanjeet's family was a different story. They were good-hearted folks, no doubt but were not very happy with their son's choice of bride. They would have preferred to associate with a family that matched their own social and financial status. Their opposition faded in the face of their son's obvious delight and Anjoli and Sanjeet married with everyone's blessings.
In the beginning there was no problem. Three out of four members of the family were earning. Interactions at the dinner table were pleasant. For a long time after marriage, Sanjeet's parents didn't ask Anjoli directly how much she was earning. She on her own found no need to volunteer the information.
But she contributed in her own way by paying a few bills here and there and buying things for the house. It was assumed that she was saving a large chunk of her salary. Even if her in laws were curious, they didn't ask. They were not dependent on her financially and Sanjeet too was earning.
But one fine day the domestic peace was shattered when Sanjeet's parents found out that more than half of Anjoli's salary was still going towards supporting her mother and younger brother. She was paying the installments on the housing loan that she had taken pre-marriage. Her brother's income was not substantial enough to let them stop taking help from Anjoli yet.
When Anjoli's mother fell sick it was Anjoli who paid most of the medical and hospital bills. She didn't mind. Nor did Sanjeet. Her mother had done her duty and now it was Anjoli's turn to reciprocate.
But Sanjeet's parents did mind. It's not that they are 'bad' people. It's just that they belong to the class of people who believe that once the girl gets married, all her responsibilities towards her old family are over. In India there are people who won't even drink water in their married daughter's house.
The idea that Anjoli was staying in their house but her money was going elsewhere seemed very unfair to them. And then the calculations began. Who was earning how much, spending how much, contributing to the household expenses how much? They said that they were not after Anjoli's money but resented the fact that outsiders were exploiting their daughter-in-law financially.
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