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Should 'Saali ' Become 'Gharwaali '?
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 For those of you who aren't so well versed in the Hindi language, 'saali ' means sister-in-law (wife's sister) and 'gharwaali ' means wife. There is a Hindi saying which goes something like ''saali aadhi gharwaali ''. If one were to take this saying in all seriousness it would mean that a man's wife's sister is like a half-wife to him.
But what happens when the almost-wife goes on to actually become the wife? Is it morally acceptable to marry your wife's sister? Would such a relationship even work?
Avinash and Richa had an arranged marriage. They were together for two years, but despite their best efforts they could not make their marriage work. Thus, the two got divorced but still remained friends.
A few months later Avinash realized that he was in love with another woman called Natasha and wanted to marry her. But the dilemma here was that Natasha was his wife's sister! And Avinash wasn't sure whether it was ok to marry his wife's sister after divorcing his wife.
As for Natasha, she too was extremely fond of Avinash and things could have gotten a lot more serious only if given the chance. But since Avinash had been married to her own sister, Natasha did not allow her feelings to flourish and rejected his advances. Richa wondered whether her own sister was the reason her husband had divorced her and that put a huge strain on the relationship between the two sisters.
So, is it alright for a man to marry his wife's sister after divorcing his wife?
Here's what Dr. Nitin Tandon, a leading marriage and relationship counsellor, has to say: ''Legally speaking, there is no reason why a man cannot marry his saali if he and his wife are divorced. Genetically speaking too, such a relationship would not be considered incestuous as a man does not have any blood relation with his sister-in-law. However, morally speaking it may be a different matter altogether.''
Society today does not really accept such a relationship and in fact most people think of the mere idea of a man getting married to his saali as quite unacceptable. Then there is also the question of whether such a marriage would hold up under the strain of the 'stigma' that would invariably be attached to it. As for the relationship between the two sisters, it is fair to say that the cracks would be hard (if not impossible) to repair. So, all things considered, a man marrying his saali seems like a bad idea all around.
Yes, if the circumstances were different... For instance, the man was widowed and was marrying his saali after the death of his wife; then such a relationship would not have all the societal stigma and moral issues attached to it and could work well. In fact, if small children are involved, the saali could turn out to be the best step mother for them considering they are her sister's children and she has blood ties with them. (Remember Hum Aapke Hain Kaun?)
So what it all boils down to is this - whether or not a saali should become a gharwaali depends on the circumstances surrounding such a relationship and also on the people involved.
Yes, society may not like the fact that a man is marrying his saali after divorcing his wife, but if the man does not care about dogma and moral policing, and if the couple feel that they can make their marriage work, then there really is no reason why they should not be together.
What do you think?
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Ruchi Agarwal
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