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The Art Of Hospitality - The Gracious Guest
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Be the dream guest that all hosts live in the hope of entertaining some day!
As a young girl, I was exposed to guests visiting my parents' house so often, that at one point I considered giving up my room altogether! Yes, my overly hospitable parents would offer my domain to houseguests who would shamelessly overstay their welcome. OK, I know there's a lot to be said about the experience of being a host as well. Children from such families adjust to living in a compromised manner if need be, learn to share and tolerate. But most importantly they learn to give.
I did enjoy the fact that I'd receive gifts every time someone visited; but soon realised the toll these long stays by our extended families took on my mother. The best host I've ever known, she taught me the art of hospitality. Her expressions were cues to me about what annoys and hurts a host; and consequently, I figured what a perfectly gracious guest would be like. Now, if only I could imbibe those qualities for my own extended house stays with her, instead of propping my feet up and allowing her to pamper me!
- Your arrival - Simply informing your host about your arrival is being obnoxious and assuming they are available. Even if you have discussed your plans to visit them in the past, call again to ask before you finalise your travel dates. This goes for close family and best friends too.
- Bring a gift -Your hosts might not be the formal kind, but nevertheless bringing along a thoughtful gift will start your stay on the right footing. Besides, it's the least you can do for them. Try to include one item for each member of the host family.
- Companions? - Your pets mean the world to you, but with all due respect, they are not welcome as houseguests. The same goes for your new best friend who'd like to be a part of your adventures in travel. Asking your host may put them in a spot, so find your pet a safe home while you're away and look for a hotel if your friends want to tag along.
- Be neat and tidy - It's amazing how many people need to be told about it. Hang your towel on the stand, make your bed and keep your room clean. Even if you don't normally live like that, do it for the period of your visit. Your hosts will highly appreciate it. I remember guests who have left the room like it was hit by a tornado every day. Makeup, clothes and books lying around is bad; but your undergarment thrown around is just unacceptable.
- Be helpful - While some hosts may have household help; others have to do it all, plus entertain you. Small gestures like doing the dishes, running out to get groceries, or cleaning up after dinner show good manners. The worst guests are those who offer, but disappear when it's time for chores.
- Offer to cook - Give your host a break by offering to cook a few meals. You can boast your know how about a speciality cuisine. Communicate your plans to your host and don't burden them with buying additional groceries at the very last moment. Better still, purchase the groceries yourself. Now, if you can't cook, please don't try and make your host a guinea pig. Take them out and pay for it.
- Eating at home - Nothing hurts a host more than cooking up a fancy meal only to realise his guest has already made other plans for dinner. Let your hosts know of your plans in advance. Gracious guests will praise the food, and eat it even if they don't like it.
- Don't interrupt routine - While you are on vacation, remember that your host still has to probably work, send the kids to school and take care of other responsibilities. If they sleep early, don't suggest late night movies or keep them up chatting. Retire to your room early too. Read a book, if you want.
- Give your host space - Guests should not expect to be entertained all the time. Go for a walk alone, join a tour for a day trip to neighbouring cities or explore the city by yourself. Your host will appreciate some time alone. If they have children, offer to babysit and let them go out for dinner alone. Now, that's a gracious guest!
Might sound old-fashioned but a hand written thank-you note makes a lasting impression. And, a gracious guest will offer to be a hospitable host in return.
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Aarti Thadani
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