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Unlikely Home Wreckers
A Man Needs To Steer Clear Of These
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 My wife is a gorgeous, outgoing woman who knows her way around gadgets - too well in fact. Most of my friends envy the fact that I'm not expected to be a trained technician just because I'm the man in the house (literally speaking... figuratively we all know who's really in charge!). My wife never asks me to 'fix' minor electrical problems, she can manage her own books and even gets her own car serviced!
And but naturally... I'm the most miserable husband who ever walked this Earth!
Whatever happened to the sweet woman I married who thought I was so macho because I could boot the PC and log on to the Internet? Or that it was so romantic of me to plug and play our home videos? Or that a microwave was a perfect anniversary gift?
She (I swear!) got kidnapped by the techno-obsessed-aliens and in return I got stuck with a superwoman who doesn't need me for anything at all! My marriage is a wreck and I'll tell you who's to blame.
OK, I'm not pointing fingers but the Home PC has really messed with my marriage. Where earlier my wife was only too pleased to run errands and do household chores, she now has no time to spare from her 'compy'.
If it's not Skyping with her 2nd-standard-girlfriend-now-living-in-Canada then its hunting eBay for second hand Jimmy Shoes... errr... Choos or whatever! Of course, she's not just tinkering around. No sir! She even manages our bank accounts online *shudder* Any man who's had to account for every penny of where his salary went for the last six months will sympathize with that immediately.
The only expense that makes my wife smile is the same one that makes me want to cry!
When my brother-in-law suggested a Sony PSP as a birthday gift for my wife, we had a hearty laugh. It was wicked. Buy her something extravagant - that I want! Little did I know how the plan would backfire. My wife turned out to be a closet gaming addict. Now, God help me if I interfere with her PSP time... she's even organized a PSP club - and most of the members are male!
I'm not the jealous type but hey! Even I go green when I see my wife being ogled by young 20-somethings who don't have to worry about beer bellies, nose hair and greying beards. When I mentioned this to my wife, she couldn't believe I was getting my knickers knotted over a bunch of 'kids'.
So fine, kids I learned to deal with. But what about the parents? That's right! Cheap airfares and the power of e-ticketing have brought another problem into my life - make that two problems - My In-laws.
I was always the lucky son of a gun with a wife from another city. No Sunday visits, no mom-in-law dropping by and no golfing with pa-in-law. And lo-and-behold. The freaking airfare starts dropping like pants on a gigolo and who now pays us a quarterly visit?
That's right! Ma and Pa-in-law! So now, every three months my home gets a makeover, my favourite ratty tees and pyjamas are replaced with spanking new, super-uncomfortable ones and we're eating vegetarian dinners for a fortnight. Thanks but no thanks.
I protest. On behalf of all the men who have ignorant, domesticated and 'homely' wives - that's all we ever wanted.
A husband is meant to earn a living and take care of his helpless wife. I want my helpless wife back. I want to be the one who kills the cockroaches and gets looked upon as Superman, Spiderman and Shaktiman all rolled into one. I want a non-Internet wife.
I wonder... will I find one on Shaadi.com?
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A shaaditimes feature
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| | Day Wear Shoulder Bag for Women | Roses n Wine | Wooden Jewellery Box With Tile | | | | Rs.925 ($19.21) | | Rs.3,850 ($79.98) | Rs.1,699 ($35.29) | Rs.749 ($15.56) | |
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