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Match blood reports not horoscopes
"Back home it is a normal practice to ask for the blood reports of a prospective bride and groom," my friend who had come down from Kerala said. He was a little surprised that well-to-do, educated people staying in a city like Mumbai were still ignoring such an important issue.
Matching blood reports, not horoscopes
In Mumbai, a family friend had arranged for this young man to meet a girl. They had a meeting. Almost everything was fine. The girl and the boy seemed compatible socially, academically, and intellectually. But before finalising the match the boy asked to see the girl's health report, especially the blood report, and all hell broke loose. The girl's family flatly refused. 'This is so insulting', they cried.
It was not that they had anything to hide, the girl was absolutely healthy. But why should anybody ask for proof, they thought. "By asking for the blood report are they implying that my daughter might have some disease like HIV? We know that she is innocent and pure, we don't have to prove it to the world," the mother said firmly. "I don't want to marry a boy who doesn't trust me," said the girl. The matter was over.
Healthy match
The boy from Kerala is still dazed with the whole affair and the girl's reaction. "What wrong did I do?" he asks. "I was going to show all my reports too and that too without their asking. They asked for my janmkundali (horoscope); although I don't believe in it I gave it for their satisfaction. They want to check from my horoscope how long I will live. Wouldn't they like to know how healthy I am? If I have AIDS, they won't know it from my horoscope, but my blood report will show it.
"When I asked the same from the girl I was not casting doubts on her purity. Frankly, for me, the issue of a girl's virginity is not very important. She has a right to her past, but now when I am marrying her I want to know if she is suffering from any health problems, which may affect our life together. Why only AIDS, even illnesses like Thalassemia can be dangerous for the future generation if both the parents have it."
The man is adamant and rightly so. When we look for a life partner, we check everything possible - education, financial and social status, the family's reputation...then why shouldn't we know about his or her health condition too? In fact, there are a few medical situations, which may not affect the individual, but if two such individuals marry, their children may be born with a life-threatening disease.
To tell or not to tell?
Sometimes parents try to hide the problem. Later such lies poison the marital life. I know one such couple. The girl had a defective heart. Parents knew about it but when a good boy came along, they kept quiet and married her off. After a few months of marriage, the girl's health deteriorated. Naturally the husband and his family were frantic with worry. When she was admitted to the hospital, the truth was out. Of course she was given proper treatment and brought back home. The family still cares for her and the man loves his wife dearly, but there is hurt. We were cheated. Why didn't they tell us the truth?
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