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Joint Affairs: When Earnings Go Awry
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 What happens when one brother earns more than the other in a joint family? Should they contribute equally or should it be proportionate to their earnings? Or is a separation inevitable?
Meet Malti. She married Rohit and entered the great Indian joint family. In addition to Rohit's aging mother, his elder brother was staying in the same house with his wife and son. Malti herself was brought up in a big family, so in the beginning there was no problem. But over a period of time, she began to feel that although they all stayed together, when it came to taking the financial responsibility, the elder brother had it easy.
"Rohit was younger, but he was expected to take more responsibilities, just because he happened to be earning more." says Malti.
Elder brother Sumit was a commerce graduate who worked in a bank. Rohit being the brighter of two became a Chartered Accountant and naturally landed a much better paying job. Knowingly, unknowingly everyone in the family began expecting more from him. Rohit didn't mind. After all it was all in the family. He respected his elder brother, got along well with his bhabhi and enjoyed spoiling his little nephew.
When Malti entered the house, she didn't know who was contributing what to the family coffers. Since she had everything that a middle class housewife is expected to have, she was happy. Both brothers gave money to the mother and she paid most of the domestic bills out of that. When Malti needed something, she asked her husband and got it.
"After a while I realized that not just I, even my mother-in-law and nephew asked Rohit when they wanted something. The little boy had his heart sat on a fancy bicycle, which his father would have found too expensive. The child simply asked his uncle and he got it within a few days. When mummyji needed a major dental treatment, it was Rohit who footed the bill. There were innumerable incidents like this," says Malti.
This family loved outings and most of the time they all went together. Malti says, "Going out as a big group was fun but then I noticed that be it cinema tickets, or restaurant bills, it was always Rohit who paid. Once in a while even if Sumit tried to pay, Rohit stopped him. My dear husband was conditioned in such a way that splurging just on himself made him feel guilty."
What irritated Malti more was that mummyji not only approved, but encouraged the situation? She believed it was the duty of the stronger brother to support the weaker one.
"I wouldn't have minded if the elder brother was really unable to support his family due to his health or other such genuine reasons. But here he was, just a few years older to Rohit, in best of his health and taking life easy. Wasn't it his duty to work harder to keep at least his wife and son in comfort?" asks Malti. She thought Rohit was being penalized for working and earning more.
"For three years I couldn't even complain for the fear of being labelled selfish and money minded," says Malti.
But according to Malti, the time came when even Rohit began to think that he was being exploited by his own family members. And then not long after that the two brothers separated. Of course it was Rohit and Malti, who left the family house and possessions behind.
"But even there his mother said that we were capable of buying our own flat and living well. She blamed me for the break up and told everybody that because of me Rohit had shrugged off all his responsibility towards the family. But I don't care what she says. I don't even mind the fact that even after separating, Rohit still helps them. I am just happy that now I don't have to feel guilty about buying things that my sis-in-law couldn't afford. You can call me money minded but it's alright. It is my husband's money and we two decide what to do with it," says a contented Malti.
We don't know what the feelings are in the other house.
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Varsha Pathak
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