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Is Lovemaking Painful For You?
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 Not having sex can hurt a lot (all men would vouch for that!) but having sex can hurt a lot too (now's the turn for women to go - yeah).
Although more women complain about painful sex than men do, making love can be painful for men too. Sometimes the pain is temporary and goes away on its own. But many women experience pain during sex regularly, which puts them off sex, which in turn can cause tension in their relationships.
So, what can you do when lovemaking hurts?
Dealing With Painful Sex
Let's take a look at some of the leading causes of painful sex and how you can deal with them:
- Lack of lubrication:
When women are aroused sexually, their bodies secrete natural lubrication to prepare them for the physical act of lovemaking. Lack of such lubrication causes friction during lovemaking and is thus the #1 cause for painful sex in women.
What to do: Men, make sure you indulge in as much foreplay as is required to excite your woman to ready her body for penetration. If natural lubrication still does not occur, women should try a good quality lubricating cream or gel. Sometimes, vaginal dryness can also be caused due to a medical condition or when the woman is going through menopause. At such times using lubricating creams can be a big help.
- Vaginal tightness:
Sometimes, the vaginal muscles tense and tighten up, thus making penetration very painful. This need not necessarily occur due to a dry vagina but can happen when lubrication is not a problem at all. Reasons range from:
- A woman being too tense about lovemaking and not feeling fully relaxed during sex
- An un-stretched hymen (a little piece of skin that covers the vagina)
- Emotional issues that cause a woman to unknowingly clench her muscles during sex
- Vaginismus, which is a medical condition wherein the vaginal muscles can tighten involuntarily and practically close off the vagina altogether.
What to do: Emotional problems can manifest as physical ones thus causing painful sex. So, if you're not feeling completely relaxed and are vary of sex for any reason, you should talk it out with your partner. An un-stretched hymen usually indicates that the woman is a virgin and has never had sex before. In such cases, the pain should only be present the first couple of times penetration is attempted and not thereafter. As for vaginismus, if the tightness in your vagina is so severe, you can consult a doctor to have it medically corrected.
- Infections and STDs (Sexually transmitted diseases)
Vaginal infections in women and thrush in men, along with various STDs such as Gonorrhea, Herpes, and HIV can also be the reason for painful sex in men and women. Such infections and diseases can cause irritation, soreness, and itching which can lead to pain during sex.
What to do: See your doctor immediately if you know or suspect that you have any infections or STDs. Most of these are easily treatable, and when cured that should take care of your problem of painful lovemaking too. In the meantime, do refrain from having sex not just to avoid the pain but also to protect your partner from infections and STDs.
- Tight foreskin:
Some men have a condition known as a tight foreskin in which their foreskin (the piece of skin on the penal head) does not naturally pull back during penetration, thus causing extreme pain.
What to do: If you're just starting to have intercourse, your foreskin may naturally loosen up over time and you may not experience pain any longer. Circumcision can also help to rid men of a tight foreskin and thus make lovemaking pain free.
Never ignore pain during lovemaking because it is not natural to hurt during sex. Do take the time to figure out why lovemaking is hurtful for you and then take the necessary steps to overcome it. You'll be pleasantly amazed at how enjoyable lovemaking can really be!
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Ruchi Agarwal
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