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What is true love?
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Ruby K Bhatia
Ruby K Bhatia is a grooming expert and conducts seminars on Personality Development throughout India. She covers topics like self-confidence, public speaking, grooming and manners. Have a question? Click here...
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Develop one's personality
Deepti Negi asks,
I want to know how can one develop one's personality. My elder sister feels that she is lacking in personality, she finds herself left out in the group and also she want to communicate better with others. I hope you can help her.
Dear Deepti,
Do you want an allopathic solution to this or an ayurvedic one? The truth is, there is no quick-fix solution to this. Because personality development is not just a means to an end... rather, it is the end in and of itself. All-round, complete, total, absolute, inner and outer personality development (read "evolution") is the reason we are all here. It is the be-all and end-all of life. So what you are asking for is not a little question-answer thing. It requires a lifetime, nay, lifetimes of dedication, perseverance and passion.
The main thing is, does she want it badly enough to make every effort for it? The person who has a deep, driving desire will himself explore the plethora of avenues available to lead him slowly and steadily to his goal. But the good news is that change is possible. Indeed, inevitable. We are all being drawn towards perfection by every single circumstance that crosses our path. Every person we meet, every situation we face, every dilemma we encounter is a God-given opportunity to progress higher and higher (or rather, deeper and deeper) towards our true selves. So tell her that if she is ready for the glorious and infinite path of self-discovery, then she must charge ahead single-mindedly.
An excerpt from "Smile" by Elbert Hubbard "Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then without veering of direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding by, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs." Smile, and earn the fulfillment of all your dreams.
What is true love?
Ritu asks,
I am 23 years old and still single living in Canada. My problem is that I fall in love too quickly. Any good looking boy, I see, I fall in love with him and start dreaming about my life after marrying him and every time my dreams shatters in pieces. Now I feel like am ugly, useless, brainless and stupid. What is true love? Do you think I can find true love ever? Why am I so easily drawn towards opposite sex?
Dear Ritu,
I feel that those of us who are ceaselessly drawn to the opposite sex are actually true romantics... dreamers... we are searching for something. We want true, everlasting, unconditional love and happiness. Our soul not only knows this state of being, but actually remembers it. And the very fact that it has known this love is what makes it search continuously for it... in other people, in the fulfillment of various ambitions, in beautiful places of nature and in soulful music and poetry. All of these things are wonderful, but any single one alone is not sufficient to satisfy the depthless cravings of the soul.
Stop being fooled by mirages. Understand that first of all, you are not 23. You are not a girl. You are not the body. At all. You are Spirit. A sweet, wonderful vibration of light and energy. That's what you are. But when you identify with the body, then you will try to find other body-counterparts. And be disappointed time and time again. Dig deeper. You are an intelligent girl. What are you really looking for? And who can actually give that to you? Search search search until you find your answers. And you will find answers. Just keep on striving. (Aahhh... another ayurvedic prescription, I dare say!).
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