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Reach for the top
In your life, love and relationships
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Ruby K Bhatia
Ruby K Bhatia is a grooming expert and conducts seminars on Personality Development throughout India. She covers topics like self-confidence, public speaking, grooming and manners. Have a question? Click here...
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One life to live so live it well
IM asks,
I am a 29 year old guy. I feel I have moved ahead in life from the outer chakras of materialistic life to a stage more inwards where life is about spirituality. I was married for three years and realized the relationship was not growing and moved out of it. I also met a girl who I found very close to my soul but she couldn't wait for me to come out of my old relationship and create a new one with her. We loved each other a lot but somewhere she had to surrender to her obligations and get married to the guy she committed before we came together. Somewhere deep down in my heart there is a feeling that someday she will realise the value of my love and come back to complete me and I live my life based on this faith which faintly speaks from the root of my heart.
But when I listen to the world and the way they speak about creating relationships, marriage, kids sometimes it scares me. It has just been 10 months since she got married. I cannot even think of a relation which is without my soul involved. Give me some insight...
Dear IM,
The most important thing in life is to live according to your conscience. And the most important duty in life is ...calm our mind through meditation that we develop infallible wisdom. Then, you will be guided through the all-knowing intuition of the soul. Now, when it comes to other people, remember that most of the people in this particular world live on a very superficial level. Thinking this one life to be the be-all and end-all of existence. But this one life is just an episode in an ongoing mega-series comprising millions of lives.
"From the point of view of eternity, all problems are insignificant" (Anon). If you do anything out of pressure, you will one day or another, one life or another have to clean up the mess that you yourself have created (or have allowed to be created around you). You and you alone are in charge of your destiny. Whether or not waiting for this woman, I will not comment upon. Your question is whether or not you should succumb to "Other Peoples' Pressure". The answer? NO. Listen patiently to all comments. Consider each one thoroughly... if it applies to you, incorporate it; if not, move on in quiet, stoic dignity. P.S. Whether or not you want to get married, let go of this woman. Don't corrupt her loyalty by sending her your desire vibrations.
Family are friends
Anjana Rawel asks,
I am a 26 year old retail professional who has recently migrated to the US and am living with my husband. I had been known as an intelligent and hard working person throughout my life and I have enjoyed quite a successful career thus far. I am also privileged by very cordial relationships at home. I mean my parents, siblings and now my husband. They all love and pamper me a lot.
My problem is I have zero friends at work or at personal level.
I don't remember having very close and intimate relationships outside family since I am out of high school. Even though I am always a kind, cordial and soft spoken person wherever I am. However, personality wise I have been quite an introvert and a little shy person. I feel a little lonely when I see other girls having a lot of friends to enjoy intimate chats, laughter and gossips. What's wrong with me?
Dear Anjana,
Nope. I have no clue what you are trying to say. Everything sounds wonderful! An old English adage: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." It's perfectly fine to not have friends outside your family, especially if you don't feel the need for it. When and if you are ready, the right friend/s will appear. Having too many "friends" is not necessary. Be a friend equally to all and you are on the road to true happiness and success!
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