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Trying to make a good impression?
Find a friend
Jane asks,
I really don't know if I have a personality problem. I am a very quiet person and speak very little. I am short and feel out of place. I am 46 yrs old and find it hard to find the right person. Do advise me as I have no one to talk to. No parent and sibling.
Dear Jane,
Friendship is a very important part of life, and I sense you need for one or two really good friends. That doesn't mean that you have to be a social butterfly, but finding some people whom you like, whom you can really talk to, is a very essential part of life. One or two deep friends (even quiet people like yourself, but people who are positive and cheerful) would make a world of difference. It could be anybody - a colleague at work, may be your housekeeper, may be an old lady in the flat above you - anybody. We attract in our environment friends from past lives... but sometimes we fail to recognize them due to our preoccupation with our own lives.
Look around. It is not necessary to "find the right man" and get married, but it is necessary to live a wholesome life. Spend some time and effort arming yourself with the protective presence of true friends. You will feel better. And if you can't find a friend, then be one. Many people would love to receive your attention and love. By being a friend to someone in need, you will find yourself filled with the very love and blessings that you have been craving. Everything will work out. Just be creative and apply yourself to living the best life possible. That is all that is expected of us.
Trying to make a good impression
Arundathi asks,
I have a problem - I feel threatened in groups. Moreover I find that people feel uneasy when am with them or I notice that they don't talk to me with warmth. I don't receive positive vibes from that, I don't know how to assert myself, I am reading all books on assertion skills and think logically and at times I tend to become emotional.
Dear Arundathi,
Sometimes the problem lies with the fact that we are too self-conscious. We are so busy trying to make a good impression, that we forget the one magnet that attracts true friends: unselfishness. Next time when you are with people, forget yourself. Try to find out what the other person is going through. If you ask genuinely, you will find that within minutes the other person will start talking about the problems they are facing right now.
Lend a listening ear. Show compassion. May be give a word of encouragement or a pat-on-the-back. And then be done with it. "Neki kar, dariya mein daal " (in English: "Do good, dump in ocean." - SO FUNNY!!).
Remember this phrase, chuckle to yourself and then see what you can do for whom next. The more you serve, the more love and friends you will have.
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