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"Life" - A different perception
...Living on your own terms
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Aarti loved being single. It was my belief that like all things incomplete she loved the tingle of anticipation it gave her. She was not shallow or fickle but a very intense person. I also felt it was the anticipation, the incomplete-ness that fed this intensity in her.
"What are you thinking?" I asked her as she stared outside the coffee-shop window.
"What do we need to live?" she said cryptically.
"Meaning?" I asked.
"Meaning what do we really need to live, as in happily? Do we ever give it a thought?" She looked at me wondering what I would say.
"Don't you think at one level all of us do? We have our goals, short-term and long-term. We also have a carefully constructed framework within which we spend our whole lifetimes. So we do give it a thought and it does make us happy, at least we think it does..." I trailed off as I began to see the poor excuse for karma my speech gave.
"Hmmm...maybe what you are saying is right..." she continued staring and drifting. She did not reject my thought with her casual "Hmmm...maybe." Aarti was not the type. It was just that she didn't want to pursue the thought anymore. Aarti lived in her emotions.
She was an impulsive imp. Her head was full of curly brown hair and whims as cute as they were headstrong. I had been pursuing her for two years and loved her with all I had and she loved me too. The only problem was she loved herself more than me.
"We have only one life Zen, why don't people see that?"
"What's on your mind?"
"Why do people spend their whole lives in mindless pursuits? Why do they make it a compulsion for doing things they do not want to do? Why can't they keep it simple?"
"Well, not everyone is in touch with what they want to do...their spiritual side as you might like to call it...for them their rules and strictures are easier to follow than their heart."
"But that's so wrong...we have so little time and so much to do, to see, to feel..." She had a far-away look in her eyes.
Aarti was not the flippant oh-I-am-so-bored as soon as it begins type. She just thrived on instability, on living life to the fullest, on the edge. This was exactly what had attracted me to her. The tension she loved had held me spellbound.
"Isn't it all perception?" she said when I had proposed my so-called undying love for the first time.
"You mean to say all I have to do is change your perception into seeing that I love you?" I asked after being momentarily taken aback.
"And you will still call it unconditional love after that, won't you?"
She had turned my proposal on its head but had me stumped there. This statement of hers was not caustic. It was just Aarti. That was how she thought and that was how she spoke. Articulate, with unbeatable logic.
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