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Of egos and commitments. Of sacrifices and faith.
Yashodhra and Suresh Oberoi
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 With Rs. 400 in his pocket and a dream in his eyes, he came to Mumbai to make it big. After a decade in the industry and more than 200 films behind him, Suresh Oberoi is a contented man.
She hails from a business family in Hyderabad. Sacrificing all her luxuries to be with her husband during his days of struggle and learning from scratch, to cook and clean, makes Yashodhra
"a perfect wife."
After 29 years and two children Vivek and Meghana, life is indeed bliss for the Oberois.
Yashodhra & Suresh Oberoi are an example to those, who need to understand that love and marriage is all about faith and interdependence.
By May we were engaged and August 1st we tied the knot...
"Ours was an arranged marriage. It was organized by one of our family friends," starts Yashodhra with a smile. "I was in Chennai and Suresh in Hyderabad. We met in April 1974 and by May we were engaged. On August 1st 1974, we tied the knot."
"We were not allowed to speak even on the phone because it would mean a disgrace to our families. Hence for 3 months, we just waited for D-day in separate cities," adds Suresh.
She washed clothes and utensils something she never did her entire life...
"We are very private people with strong family values. I never wanted my career to affect my marriage. My wife came from a rich business family yet she supported my decision to enter films," informs Suresh.
"When we came to Mumbai, we stayed in a small room with no fridge or T.V, no bread or cheese. She even washed clothes and utensils, something she never did her entire life, but she never complained. She willingly let go of her luxuries to stay with a struggler in a one - room house. This made me realize that it was my duty to see that she was happy and contented. She never gave up on me or doubted my abilities. It was for her that I wanted to make it big."
I remember he would bring vegetables in a suitcase...
"I knew Suresh wanted to enter films which is a 'risky' profession. I was prepared to let him fulfill his dream because if at that moment I stopped him, later he would have blamed me for not trusting him enough. I remember during his days of struggle, he would work in shifts and return only in the morning. He would bring vegetables in a suitcase so that people didn't know he was 'vegetable-shopping' for me! I think one reason we are together, even after 29 years, is because of the level of mutual dependence and respect we have for each other," explains Yashodhra.
Suresh and I do everything together...
"Marriage is no competition. To be committed and to sacrifice is not an easy task. That's one of the reasons today's youth finds it convenient to break up rather than walk along," analyses Yashodhra. "They feel that it is best to have a nuclear family with one child or no children and hence find it hard to adjust to each other's families. A relation needs a lot of commitment and respect for each other's views. It is in doing little things for each other that a relationship becomes strong."
"Suresh and I do everything together. If I read something I make him listen. We go for evening walks. We talk, discuss and spend time with each other. Today, couples prefer partying after work rather than share intimate moments."
Only strong families make a strong society...
"I think what couples need is to understand the factors that might be contributing to the deterioration of marriage. Today's couples only think of sexual compatibility and not tolerance. This is where the difference between two generations occurs. If you have strong values instilled it would lead to stronger families which extends to making a strong society," remarks Suresh.
Ours is a bond of unsaid words...
"After 29 years we can read each other's mind without having to say anything. We had our arguments and fights but gradually understood that it was due to unrealistic egos. It is not just in respecting the other's point of view but also in adapting it that a bond of unspoken words is created. A healthy marriage requires loads of compromise and adjustments," says Yashodhra. "When his career wasn't shaping up, or he would lose out on roles, he would become angry and frustrated. It was then, I understood, that he needs my support not my advice."
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