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Time Out with Daboo and Jyoti Malik
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Most of us are familiar with the lemming effect where one thing leads to another... the churning, yearning and passion of love turns into acceptance and responsibility of marriage. Where the giggles and secret hugs gives way to the squirming and gnawing doubts. Before you know it there is no going back and you are on automatic just chugging along.
This is especially true, strangely enough, in many instances where couples have been together for a prolonged period. The seemingly, X factor that brought them together in the first place makes way for the Y factor... The Y then substituted for Why me?
Shaaditimes delves into the lives of a couple together for 15+ years for the elusive spirit that causes couples to stay as opposed to stray in the game of love. And love like cricket where team advantage is not limited to best effort, feelings and thoughts is also not always equitable and just.
Let us take a time out with celebrity couple Daboo and Jyoti Malik as they give us their secret simple recipe of a successful marriage.
Seventeen years young, the Daboo and Jyoti Malik marriage has produced two wonderful sons and a healthy lust for each other and life. The couple stands apart due to the commitment they have to each other, in addition to their commitment and responsibilities to family, children and career.
We make Alone Time for Each Other...
According to both, this is the indefinable tangible serving to strengthen their relationship with each other even today.
"No matter what time Daboo returns in the night, after work, we will go out even if it just for a drive...Just him and me to catch-up on the day. We still hold hands and if he doesn't tell me something nice at least once a day there is something wrong," she laughs.
Music Director Daboo (brother of award winning Bollywood artiste Anu Malik) got his first break with "Maine Dil Tujko Diya" (2002) and is one of the top music composers in Bollywood today. However, amidst a shower of accolades, the couple admits their relationship has waffled in the past under the strain of media scrutiny, and individual career and life goals.
After 17 years what is the one ingredient that has kept the fire alive?
Daboo replies mischievously yet with a certain degree of seriousness, "It's lust." He says in his inimitable deadpan manner. Pauses before laughing, "No seriously, I am physically attracted to my wife tremendously. Although I must admit, I am basically a big flirt," he clarifies and continues, "Over the years I have wooed women all the time, yet no one can compare to my wife. I pray the day never comes where I lose my physical attraction for my wife."
The elusive X factor to the success of their marriage?
"Jyoti and I complement each other. I am creative and she is practical," says Daboo. "I am aggressive in nature and have a strong belief in instilling a solid education in children," agrees Jyoti. "Daboo believes in pampering the children and tries to protect them from all emotional and physical upheavals," she says.
"We both prioritise our time today around the children in addition to our careers. Both Daboo and I encourage our children with their creative pursuits (their younger son Armaan is short listed in the top ten in Zee's Young Talent Contest)."
The quality Daboo admires the most in Jyoti today?
"I think it's been her selfless sacrifice to me and the children. Her sincerity to stay focused and her never say die attitude is something I respect about her immensely," he says and then adds, "She does get brash and angry at times."
Jyoti self-consciously says, "Yes I have devoted my life to Daboo and the boys. Daboo has made it easy for me. He appreciates everything about me. He validates me as a person, woman, wife and mother. If he didn't do this..." she stops and continues. "If we didn't make time for each other one-on-one despite our busy daily routines I don't think it would have been possible to have the relationship we share today."
Daboo remembers, "I remember seeing Jyoti during a rehearsal of a play in College. She was with friends and I knew at that moment I would marry her. I just knew," he says. Jyoti laughs and adds, "He just thought about me... I was the one after seeing him that decided I had to find out who he was and make the first move."
After which Jyoti just moved in - literally into Daboo's home, heart and life!
Food & Fitness formula of Anu Malik
"She is really born only for me", says Anu Malik
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Rohini Bhatia-Singh
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