|
Five decades of perfect harmony - Anandji and Shantaben spill out the secrets
|
 Art knows no boundaries, nor does the heart. When the twain meets, it's perfect synergy. In the case of the legendary veteran composer Anandji (of Kalyanji -Anandji ) and Shantaben , marriage has been five decades of perfect harmony.
Now in the 50th year of their union, Anandji and Shantaben have not let the cobwebs of ennui engulf their married life. A disciplined, conservative yet sensibly modern approach to life and a middle-class lifestyle that adopts the best of traditionalism and is shorn of consumerism keeps stress virtually away from the household. The values the two have propagated have percolated down to even their London-based granddaughters who despite being fledgling singers (they performed with Adnan Sami recently) are strict vegetarians.
' We were married on the 16th June 1954, ' recalls Anandji. ' In those days we had no say in choosing our spouses, and in my case it was a shade worse because I had wanted to remain a brahmachari as per the wishes of my teacher at the akhada ! I saw my wife's face only after the ceremony, as was the practice then and I remember that my first-ever statement to her was so tactless that she burst into tears!'
Sitting opposite him, Shantaben smiles at the distant memory and gives her husband a fond look as she adds another byte of memory. 'We got engaged when I was 14 and married two years later. He had been born in Kutch and had lived both in the village and here, and was a musician then in films and was doing shows as well as sitting part-time at his father's shop in Girgaum. I was born and brought up in Mumbai.'
Shantaben shyly relates the ' dream element ' in her marriage. ' Way back when I was a kid, my friends and I would discuss what kind of husbands we would like. While others mentioned that they wanted husbands who were fair, rich or tall, I told them that I dreamt of a man who would become world-famous! When I got married they taunted me about getting married to a grocer! But this dream came true in a big way!'
Memories enmesh with more memories as the couple exhibit key photographs of their wedding and the joint family, which still occupy pride of place in their original frames in their Peddar Road apartment.
When asked whether she wasn't apprehensive about marrying someone from films, Shantaben replies, ' No. My family was aware of the excellent Jain sanskaar that prevailed in the Shah family. Even my husband was rooted in Jainism and while certain concessions have been made in some aspects, he still does not wear silk or pearls and hates it when bouquets of plucked flowers are given to him.'
To Anandji , his wife's biggest plus point is the way she selflessly adapted to his joint family. ' She never complained, in fact she went out of the way to adjust and keep our traditions intact. Kalyanjibhai was the elder among the two of us, and so my bhabhiji would have the right to go out with her husband for certain occasions and my wife had to remain in and look after the house. She handled everything very well. Our first trip together was to visit a Railway exhibition in Delhi in 1960. We travelled by III-tier III class among a group of unmarried friends, so all the gents and ladies were booked in different rooms!'
Says Shantaben , 'In the ' 60s, ' 70s and ' 80s, my husband was very busy in his work. He had no time to look into mundane matters like children's studies. I had to be home for those things as well, even after we shifted to this house. But after my children have grown up, I accompany him everywhere. He is so particular yet so negligent about small things that I never like to leave him alone, even at home. This is why even though I like to do social and charitable work, I don't like to travel much out of Mumbai alone. I have an excellent daughter-in-law, but for my husband, you require someone who can adjust to his erratic schedules!'
Continuing in an indulgent tone she says, 'This is the only major fault in him. As it is, his professional working style has made him accustomed to retiring at seven in the morning, waking up after noon, having lunch anytime between 1.30 and 5 in the afternoon and dinner at 9.30. After this he wants to have peanuts or dry fruits at midnight, and a sweet and a glass of milk at 3 at night! But my main problem is that he keeps inviting people informally for lunch at weird hours! He will suddenly announce that six people are dropping in for lunch, spell out the menu that I must make at short notice, and land up at 4.30 in the afternoon or 10 o'clock at night!'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask our Experts :
Expert Advice, Personality, Immigration (US), Tarot, Hot Couture, Body Care, Matrimonial Laws, Sexual Health, Life, etc, Man vs Woman, Fitness. |
|
 |
|
Copyright © 2012 Shaaditimes.com - A relationship and wedding portal by Shaadi.com. - All Rights Reserved. Terms and Conditions
|
