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Keeping the faith
It's the faith in herself and her daughters that has guided her through troubled times.
 Bold and beautiful - is how one would best describe actress Tanuja. She is still remembered for her diverse roles in Haathi Mere Saathi, Mere Jeevan Saathi, Jewel Thief and Anubhav . It is her endearing quality that made her the darling of the masses. Daughter of the legendary Shobana Samarth, sister of actress Nutan and mother of Kajol and Tanisha, she is an actress who has a never-say-die attitude.
With yet another film, Rules - Pyar ka superhit formula ready to hit the marquee, she is on a high.
In the interview that follows the very candid Tanuja speaks about living life to the hilt, the new love in her life (her granddaughter!) and her anubhav of life.
From past to present... the journey so far
It has been a journey of experiences with hillocks, rundowns, good and bad. Each experience has taught me something in life. Each moment has been a learning experience. As an actress I shared a good rapport with my co-stars and enjoyed every film I did. Acting taught me to be independent, self-controlled and to differentiate between right and wrong. As a mother, my children taught me to be more patient, more humble and how to let go of pain and anger. My grand daughter Nysa taught me a new chapter in life - unconditional love. She is just three months old and has brought immense happiness in Kajol's life. Kajol had lost her previous child due to a miscarriage and she was heart broken. Nysa brought back all that joy. Seeing your daughter happy is happiness in itself. I feel complete today.
On her bindaas image
My mom gave me the freedom to be myself. She allowed me to make mistakes and to improve on the same. She always encouraged me. She made me believe that you should do what makes you feel happy and that's exactly what I did. I never bothered about being the number one heroine. I used do films because I believed that I had the talent. And I thoroughly enjoyed them. Whatever consequences I faced, were because of my decisions and I learnt from them. Acting was a natural choice because we come from a family of creative individuals. Acting gave us the platform to showcase our talent. This is the reason I encouraged Kajol to take up acting because she had the talent and I wanted her to exploit it.
On the changing face of marriage
Marriage is a responsibility but today people marry with an intention of divorce if things don't work out. They shy away from the responsibility of standing by their partner if things go wrong. They are so engrossed in their work that they have no idea what is happening in their partner's life. One has to put in effort to make a marriage work. I think a relationship works if two people want it to work. During my times things were different. There was a sense of commitment. Yet when two people separate, it's their children who suffer. I separated from my husband after 10 years of marriage because each day started with a fight and ended with a fight. So we thought it would be fair to go our separate ways without taking a divorce. Divorce would certainly affect the children. Kajol and Tanisha stayed with me but their father was always there for all their important decisions. Initially, when we separated there was resentment and bitterness but then I had to let go of the pain since I realized that holding a grudge would only worsen things. But now we are good friends. The happiest feeling for me is to see Kajol in a happy and successful marriage.
On her daughters
I am a friend to Kajol and Tanisha. We talk about everything. It's like a powerhouse. Whatever difficulty they go through we thrash it out together. But I never impose my decisions on them. When Kajol decided to marry, I discussed it with her and she took her decision. My son-in-law Ajay is a very good human being, very down- to -earth and most importantly he loves my daughter. Tanisha, my second daughter is also getting into films, which is entirely her decision. I will always be there when they need me just like my mother was there for me. I guess the relation between a mother and daughter is of caring, nurturing, advising, fighting and above all loving and respecting.
On life
I live in the present, for the moment. I firmly believe that the present is a gift from God and that's the reason it is pre-sent. When I look back I feel happy that each incident, each moment taught me something and that every piece of my life fell in place. I had my share of pleasures and pain. My marriage wasn't successful, it gave me pain but it taught me that life isn't easy. I have had my share of pleasures too-two lovely talented daughters, good education, a beautiful life and now my grand child. What else do I need from God?
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Natasha Havewala
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