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Mandira unplugged - "I want to be a full-time mother"
Think cricket. Think Mandira Bedi. Besides being a perfect television host, an impressive cricket commentator and a brilliant actress, Mandira is a perfect homemaker, who can successfully walk the tightrope between home and work. In an exclusive interview to Shaaditimes, she talks about her marriage, life and relationships...
You are involved in a lot of things, cricket, television and theatre. What keeps you ticking all the time?
The fact that I am doing so many things! In the first seven eight years of my working life, before the World Cup, I enjoyed what I did but there was a lot of monotony in it. Day in and day out I was doing serials and that became monotonous after some time. Especially when you are involved in long-term projects (daily soaps), which take up a lot of your time and energy.
I enjoyed what I did but somehow I wanted to do different things, which, fortunately, I am getting to do now. So, in a way acting on television or acting in serials, has taken a back seat. Right now, I am hosting shows, I am doing theatre, cricket. I feel blessed to get a chance to do so many things. I am happy that every week of my life is different. Like just yesterday, I shot for a fashion feature.
Were you always interested in cricket?
I always liked cricket in the sense that I always followed it. But it was a difficult task to sit in a panel and discuss it with the masters / experts of the game. And I was very very nervous especially when I came on air and saw the whole set up. Also because I was the first woman who was entering a sphere that was till then considered a 'Male Domain' Needless to say, I was a complete wreck. In fact I told the Sony guys that I was not adding any value to the show and to send me back to India. But they asked me to stay on as I was just finding my feet. That's when I realized that heaven and hell are in your head itself. Live in the present and enjoy your job. From then, I started enjoying my stint with cricket.
You have been married for almost six years now, what makes for a good relationship?
First and foremost understanding. I'm lucky that I've got a very understanding husband. He respects my work and because he respects my work there is freedom to do what I do. I feel understanding leads to equality in a relationship and that's the key ingredient to a long-term relationship.
I hate using the cliché 'better half' but I can say that my husband is my 'best half'. He is the opposite of me. I am hyper, aggressive, impatient and he's not any of these.
He's calm, patient and composed. Of course he is aggressive when it comes to his work. He's laid back in the right sense, just unlike me.
Also, I believe that opposites attract and for a lasting relationship you cannot have two similar people. He's all that I am not and that's why we work.
How important is taking each other's advice?
I depend on him for everything. Even when I am travelling and I need to ask him, I call him up and ask for his suggestions.
I seek his advice for everything and anything. He's an ideas man; he's into advertising (commercials) and also into films. Being so creative he always has some answer to give me. Even when it comes to cricket, he has some advice to give to me.
Does your celebrity status affect your relationship?
No, never. As I said before, Raj is the most understanding person, I've known. I can see other husbands in his situation not taking it too well, but he just wants the best for me. He truly loves me as I do him. He's absolutely okay with me being in the limelight. He's always there to encourage me and give me a helping hand.
Fortunately, he and I are from the same business so he understands and knows that it's important for me to be in the newspapers. He's therefore never been jealous or unhappy about it. He's only been happy for me and proud of me and always encouraging.
Taking a broader perspective, do you think that the definition of marriage is changing in today's world?
Yes it is. The trends and the things happening around show that. But personally speaking, I never want myself to get influenced by the changing trends. I look at my parents. The kind of relationship, which they have, even though they've been married for 37 years now, is amazing. They are my role models.
But, of course, in every relationship, in every marriage there are fights and arguments, but whenever I've had such testing times I just turn around and I look at marriages before me, marriages that have worked. I look to them to keep my relationship and me going.
Today, people walk out of a marriage instantaneously. I've seen people who've been seeing each other for years, but who get divorced after six months! But I try and not look at the current trends and I tend to look back at marriages, which have stood the test of time.
What are your future plans?
I don't think about the future. Yes, I do want to have kids but only when I feel - this is it and I can give up work for a couple of years. I want to be a full-time mother and take care of my kids like my parents took care of me.
Even Raj agrees and says that after you have kids, for a while you can give up work to look after the kids, but you have to keep on working. You need an occupation.
But I'm not yet ready to have kids, may be in a year or year and a half. Right now, the things that I am doing are so exciting, my work drives me so much that I want to continue with the work. And then there are lots of other things coming up. There is "Fame Gurukool" on Sony television and of course lots of cricket. Sony has signed me for the Super Series in Australia in September, and then there is the Champions Trophy in early next year and then World Cup 2007. I have a long way to go!
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Avantika Bahuguna
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